Going THERE Part Two: Situations and Solutions – Special Occasions

When I came to the chapter on special occasions, it kept me offline for several months. I had to deal with the question, “Do I really want to talk about my family issues on my blog?” And the even deeper question of, “Do I really even want to go there myself?”

As I have munched on these thoughts over the past several weeks, I have realized that my coping mechanisms are fine for a while, but what I really want is freedom from the things that weigh me down…the things that make me overeat and binge in other ways. So I have chosen to go there. You may know where “there” is. It is that place where we all feel a little uncomfortable, a little vulnerable.

Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover, Hanukah, Three Kings Day…whatever holidays that bring families and food together in the words of my niece also bring out the “issues.” Why is it so hard to only have one small helping of green bean casserole or sweet potato pie? Is it really THAT good? Maybe. But it could also be that we overeat on these days because there is something else going on underneath, in that place where we try not to visit.

Going into a family situation can bring back all kinds of emotions, good, bad and ugly. For me, there has been a lot of ugly. Special occasions remind me of good times that I remember with a family that has since fallen apart – evaporated into thin air. They also remind me of being a late addition (step child) to a family where I was not welcome, an irritating obligation. Or Christmases watching my younger half brother receive mountains of gifts, while my older sister and I - products of a first marriage - received one small gift.

So how to deal with these feelings of despair…hmmm. For me it has been a process of deciding not to cover up/numb the pain but to fight. Why does that pain get to decide how my life turns out? So I search for truth and hope - and when I find them, I cling to them for dear life. And when that self-destructive behavior flairs up I try to remind myself that I have a choice.

My uncle taught me once that you cannot run away from your problems. They will always follow you. If you face them, you have a chance to heal. The day that I realized he was right was the day that I stood up to the one person that I knew could hurt me more than anyone else. When it was over and I picked myself off the metaphorical floor, I took a look around and realized that the world had not come to an end. Painful though it was, it left me with a sense that I can do anything that I put my mind to. Whatever may come my way in the future might equal that pain, but it could never be more painful – so I don’t need to be afraid anymore.

So with all that we have to go through in life, I think we owe it to ourselves to be healthy so that we can be ready to enjoy the good times, not just wallow in the memories of a past life.

Weight Loss Update: I am very thankful to report that a consistent routine of weight lifting, cardio and a low calorie diet over the past 8 months has resulted in an additional 11 pounds off this mamma’s body! This leaves me at my pre-pregnancy weight four months before my target month of December. If there is anybody out there still reading this, thanks for staying with me. I’m not going to quit because I’m a fighter and I hope you are too!